Take a sit and think back to your childhood. Think back and try to remember if you ever stood out, or felt like you didn’t belong. Trying to do everything perfect just to get some attention from your parent, and step parent. Competing with an older sibling for this great attention from the people we adore so much. Trying the very hardest to be the best child. But still ended up falling short from the recognition that you only dream about. To have the lowest self-esteem, and to succumb to bullying because you were fragile and didn’t know how to protect yourself. At the age of 13 you contemplated suicide. But instead just decided to go back to what I knew, which was my grandparents house. From there you continued to prove yourself to everybody around you. So you do whatever young girls do, and that was try to fit in. But of course that came with some consequences from the bad decisions I decided to take in life.
Nobody is perfect and even though we try to make it seem like we are, we just aren’t. Don’t ever think just because you stand out from the family that you were born into that taking your life is the easy way out because listen it isn’t. You were placed in said family for a reason and it’s solely up to you to figure it out. It won’t be easy and it’s gonna take some time to figure it out. But God didn’t place you where he placed you at to leave you. It may not make any type of sense of why he would put you in a place to be miserable but there’s always a hidden message as to why you’re in this predicament. What I have learned from this journey that I’ve been on. Especially being the black sheep, is that I was placed here for a bigger picture. To make a change within the family. Everybody may not agree with it but you were placed here for a reason, its up to you to dig and figure it out and fix it.
I took on this role in my life simply because I was tired of feeling left out and feeling like I didn’t belong. Talking to a friend of mine opened my eyes to being a black sheep. It doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. It can actually be something major. You have the power to break the generational curses. You might be the spiritually inclined family member that have the power to fix everything that went wrong before you. Do your research and start fixing things within your family. Start buying houses, fixing them for your kids to have properties when they graduate high school then they will have an income while in college to pay for students. Set them up for success before they even know what success is. It’s bigger than you. Time to stop playing and get down to what your ancestors want you do for the rest to come behind you. It is possible.