When you are healing you have to change your ways & the things that you are comfortable with doing. You can not heal in toxicity. It never works it will always FAIL. I know because I’ve tried to heal with being in a toxic relationship and it never actually happened. You have to let go of the things you are used to and step out of your comfort zone in order to get to where you want to be in life. I got out of that relationship and ended a friendship that I had since 2012 & honestly it was one of the best choices I ever made in my life. When I left that relationship back in 2017 I instantly felt a weight off of my shoulders. Even though it hurt it was much needed. As soon as we came to a mutual agreement to walk away I was happier than I could ever be. Last year I ended a toxic draining friendship. That was my BIHHH. But she wasn’t a healthy friend if that makes sense. It was always draining when I talked to her.
People are only placed in your life for you to learn. To make you hurt, and then the lesson from it, you’ll always learn from it. It’s hard as hell but listen it’s fucking amazing after the fact. Just to sit back and look over everything that I’ve been through I know now what not to do. I’ve been hurt, lied to, cheated on, beat on, and used. Now there were red flags but I was blinded by a lot because I thought I was in love when in reality it was just lust. I know what signs to look for, I learned how to love the man who wants to love me for me and not only for what I have to offer or what I look like & treats my son like his own and doesn’t act like it’s a burden for him.
I learned a lot by doing a lot and feeling stupid in the end. I don’t regret shit. I used to regret being nice and being that mans designated driver, but looking back it only made me more aware. You can’t be nice to everybody even if your friends say “oh he’s a nice guy he just needs a driver” dumb and naive. But I’m thankful for the experience. I know it may sound crazy but God didn’t leave me. It could of went way left but it didn’t I fought back hard and I made my escape. The look in his eyes, he didn’t care that he was taking advantage of me, just like I didn’t care if he wrecked his car after I made my escape. But after I finally came forward 2 months later, I found out 6 other women came forward about him attacking them. I was just so excited that I helped other women in a way that I was so ashamed to talk about.
Once you remove toxicity from your life. You will start to see things a lot more clearer. Don’t be afraid to cut folks off in order to heal yourself. Live your life for you. Because you came in this world by yourself and that’s exactly how you will leave this world. There aren’t any bunk caskets. Know your worth and don’t allow people to half ass love you. Stay beautiful QUEENS. ♥️♥️♥️♥️